starter
starter is about feeling like you’ve unlocked your true potential through beliefs, overcoming various hardships with this potential. i reference god a lot, even though i’m not religious. i think the terms can be up to interpretation for whatever higher power (or lack of) that you follow. this song went though probably the biggest changes out of any other track on the album. originally, i had planned to use the same lyrics over a lighter sounding beat. airy synths and higher keys and whatnot. but it didn’t feel like a true opener, and didn’t sent a strong vibe for the album. changing the beat actually shortened the song to my benefit, and makes for a quicker and faster paced song, which only a couple of the other tracks across the album achieve.
band tee (feat. Umbrafundatur)
everybody please thank umbrafundatur and reignfire for saving my career. this song wouldn’t be what it is if i had been the only one to work on it. this is the first official hxllface song in which i didn’t produce the track, and in the almost four years that i’ve been making music, it’s about time hxllface and reignfire had an official collaboration. but i couldn’t hear just myself on the album either, and with how well umbra and i work together, it’d feel like a slap in the face to not put him on the album. this track is a big reason as to why the whole project even came together, and i wish i could’ve put more hands on it. until the next one i guess.
die
die is about most of the obsessive thoughts that come with my personal mental health. predominantly, feeling like the people closest to you don’t actually care and are just liars, and as the song name suggests, death also. it’s not something i fear i suppose, but i do ruminate about it a lot and have since i was little. but the aim wasn’t to overshare on a track for three and a half minutes, but instead to make something easy to repeat. writing the lyrics out for this song was mundane (i haven’t even tried to count how many times the word die comes up,) but i did feel satisfied in achieving my goal whenever i would preview the song for friends.
invite u
i love synths, but guitars are so beautiful. i think every once in a while with singles, i try to put something out that’s really guitar heavy. the alternative style is something i like recreating, it’s really fun and easy to make songs that give a sort of 2000’s vibe. if you’d imagine, however, being in the gang life and having a looming fear that the person you love would get caught up in your mess as collateral, that’s pretty close to what the song is about. maybe a love song of sorts depending on how you look at it, but not really the thought i had when making the song.
cryin in tha club
this song isn’t based on a true story, maybe inspired by elements of what i was going through at the time of making it. it’s essentially about a guy who gets broken up with at a club and tries to drown himself in the euphoria of drugs and good music. i’m in a sense larping when it comes to this song, mainly cause i don’t like the club a whole lot. not really a fan of overpaying for drinks and hitting on drunk people, and it’s not at all what i thought it’d be like as a kid (lol.) but it can be a good time with good people and if the dj doesn’t suck.
taunt
i don’t like people who lie, or start problems, or bark harder than they bite. it’s too much to deal with because despite the song subject, i’m not a violent guy. and i definitely don’t wanna be. but i also know what i’m worth and just how much shit i’m gonna take before biting back. so i guess this song makes me think a lot about the people i surround myself with. definitely have lost friends, but probably for good reasons when you look at the kind of people they were. definitely have lost a lot better.
missing it
the original take of this song was four minutes, but i felt like that was a bit too much for a song with really no subject. i think i just wanted things to come to me in order to fill up space, so a lot of the things i say on this track are really just to demonstrate my writing ability. really simple beat with lyrics that flow nicely, but also lyrics that make you think “did he say that?” hence the jugular line and such (lol.)
look at the person that i’ve turned into
this is the start of my three-song run, and it’s also the first song i started working on for the album back in february. at the time, i was dealing with a tragedy called my love life, and i had lots of feelings and emotions to share. it’s actually the first time i’ve (sort of) made a song about someone, which cements them into my life in a way i don’t like. but i guess they were already there regardless, so it really doesn’t matter all that much.
unnamed substances
the song was originally called lights out, and it’s based on true stories and tendencies. back in high school, i once found myself at a party where i was inebriated on three different substances and a lot of crazy shit happened that night. i don’t feel a need to delve into specifics, but that’s the subject of verse one and the chorus. verse two is about the second time i found myself crossed on those three substances, and some of the thoughts that ran through my mind at the time. why do i bother? was it my fault that you stepped to me first? do i scheme too much? maybe the realest song i’ve made in a while, and really symbolic when it comes to the song length as well.
family tree
nothing feels worse than wasted time, and that’s really what this song is all about. feeling like your life and the decisions you’ve made have been wasted and the disappointment you feel from your ancestors looking down (or up) at you (if you believe in that sorta thing.) the sample i chose resonated with me a lot, unexpectedly. i feel similar ways about my dad, and so it seemed appropriate to put on a song about disappointing your family tree. not to say that i’ve dishonored my father, i don’t think that’s possible. at the end of the day, i hope i can do better in another life and that’s that.